THE TINY HAT CLUB

◆ WHAT IS THE TINY HAT CLUB? ◆

Somewhere in Adelaide, right now, there is a tiny hat taped to something. Inside it is a code. People find them. Those people are in the club.

You have not found one. We understand. You are a busy person with a car and a job and you do not have the time to walk around looking at bollards like some kind of detective.

So we are letting you skip that part.

For a one-off administration fee, membership of the Tiny Hat Club can be yours immediately, with no hunting, no walking, and no talking to anybody in a laneway. Your name goes in the book. The book is real. We have a book.

◆ CHOOSE YOUR MEMBERSHIP LEVEL ◆

OFFER ENDS SOON. Prices held since 1997

◆ WHAT YOU GET, IN FULL ◆

• Access to the Tiny Hats website, which is already free and which you are on
• The right to look at the hats other people found
• A username of your own choosing, subject to it not being taken
• Weather in Adelaide, at the top of every page, forever
• Entry to the Hat Lounge, where members bob gently and are not listened to
• One (1) certificate, in a font of our choosing
• The knowledge that you did not have to find anything
• Priority consideration for future considerations
• Banner adverts, at level two, as a reward
• No refunds, which keeps the club exclusive

◆ WHAT OUR MEMBERS SAY ◆

★★★★★ "I paid the fee on a Tuesday and by Thursday I was still a member. I have told my whole street." B. Corrigan, Prospect

★★★★★ "Before the Tiny Hat Club I was a man who had not found a tiny hat. I am now a man who has not found a tiny hat and is in a club." D. Whitmore, Semaphore

★★★★★ "The verification step was very thorough." Still verifying, Norwood

★★★★☆ "Four stars. I would have given five but I could not find the button." J. Aspinall, Glenelg

◆ FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ◆

Are the hats free?

Yes. Completely. They are on poles and in gardens all over Adelaide and anybody can pick one up and use the code inside it. That is not what we are selling.

Then what am I buying?

The convenience of not doing that.

Is this a real shop?

It has a table with prices in it.

How long does checkout take?

Most members complete verification in under a minute*.

What does the asterisk mean?

It refers to a footnote.

Where is the footnote?

At the bottom of the page, under the adverts.

Can I just go and find a hat instead?

You can, and it is free, and it is the entire point of the whole thing, and honestly the walk is quite nice. But then you would not be on this page, would you.